I still haven't had time to get my thoughts organized and posted on here. Seriously...where has all my time gone?

But a really quick update - school starts Thursday (yikes!), and yesterday was "move in day". That means all my friends are back now...which is good. yay!

There are only a few things in life I enjoy more than riding my bike. Feeling the blood pump through my legs and the wind breezing through my hair, I just love it.

Tonight Lory and I rode our bikes to Grant Park for the Movie in the Park. They played Touch of Evil, from 1958. It was kind of a ridiculous movie, and by kind of I mean ridiculously. It was fun though, which is what counts.


In other news, I've been thinking about stuff a lot lately. Hopefully I'll get some time tomorrow to put some of it down into words on here.



Also: o/\o = high five!

Growing Up

"Growing up" has just hit me like a brick wall.

Last night, I was sitting alone in my apartment. My mom left about 15 minutes prior to go back home (3 hour trip). One roommate hasn't moved in yet. The other roommate was out doing who-knows-what with who-knows-who.

I felt so alone.

I never felt like that when I got left in the dorms. There was always other rooms with people milling about. Not always people I knew, but at least they were making noise. It was just so...quiet then. No, not really quiet, because the fan was on and I could hear noises. It just felt...empty. Like I was, for once, totally alone.

It was scary.

It was also weird, though, because sitting there alone, I feel like I had some revelations about "life as an adult." I love Fight Club, and the scene at the beginning where Ed Norton was talking about filling his apartment with stuff as his "life" suddenly made complete sense. I felt like I finally knew exactly what he felt like in that scene. I was sitting there having a mini existential crisis, contemplating who I was and what my place in the world was, and all I could think about was how empty my "home" was. My first two thoughts were to fill it up with stuff, or just veg out in front of the TV.

Thankfully, I have no money to buy things, and my TV isn't hooked up to anything.

So I sat there longer, feeling more and more lonely. The emptiness in my apartment started creeping into my body. I started listening to Brand New. I got sad. For the first time, I really missed my family. Right before leaving, my mom and I were playing Super Rub-A-Dub on my ps3. It was hilarious, and we were having fun. Hearing the game's background music made me sadder. I tried to distract myself from things by surfing the internet. Then the internet got boring, as it usually does when I'm using it to distract myself.

I finally fell asleep.

Thank goodness.

And now I'm recalling a memory of something that happened last winter break when I was at home. The post-high/20-something group of people at my church went to the ice rink to go skating, so I went along. It was fun enough, and afterwards we went back to church to eat some desserts and stuff. Sitting there, watching the others drink coffee and play cards, I thought to myself "Is this really what grown ups do for fun?"

I was astounded.

Why does growing up seem mean the death of fun? Last night I felt a glimpse of what it was like to be an adult, doing adult things. Being responsible for a place to live. I feel it even more so today, after getting home from work to a once again empty apartment. Life drones on and on, monotonously shuffling from day to day, week to week, year to year. I remember reading a quote somewhere, something about how when you let one moment of your life become meaningless, you let every moment become meaningless.

That's not how I want to live.

Heartbroked

Adam meets girl.
Adam likes girl.
Girl likes Adam.
Girl is leaving for who knows how long.
Adam is sad.
Girl says everything will be okay.
Adam is bitter and remembers all the other times he heard that, and then it didn't turn out okay.
Adam gets sadder.


qq :(

I really really really want it to thunderstorm, so I can go outside in the downpouring rain and play like a 5 year old. Well, maybe not a 5 year old, but it would be nice to carelessly enjoy getting soaked.

I remember one time, several years ago. I was probably around 12, and it was during the summer. Either Memorial Day, or the Fourth of July, if I recall it correctly. My mom's side of the family was over, and we were swimming and doing stuff in the afternoon, and it started raining. I remember it was awesome though, because the rain was really warm. I was in my swim suit already, but I remember I got out of the pool and just went and laid in the road. The road was warm from the sun, and the warm rain drops were coming down hard and fast. Then we played some basketball in the rain, and it was terrible...yet awesome.

Growing up...who needs it?

ick

I've been feeling pretty down lately, and I think I know why. I'm not a fan of myself!

I really like this girl.
I think this girl really likes me.
I have mouth constipation.
Poop (contextually)?
I wish.

Procrastination

This is what I do when I have no idea how to do my complex math homework, and have run out of other forms of procrastination.


I've been thinking about studying abroad in Sweden for a semester. Thoughts?


(It's funny, because I'm asking for the reader's opinions, and there are no readers. Ha!)